I consider my self a hard worker. I felt like I did a great job every day at work. I thought I was passionate but I discovered that perhaps I wasn't as passionate as I could be; I proceeded to get an attitude with my boss and he knocked me down a few levels. I was humbled and sometimes in life we need that kick to remind us that we can always do a little better than the day before.
There was one aspect of my job that I was only devoting 50% of my effort towards and it showed. So they talked to me about it and set some expectations that I didn't agree with so of course I did what every cocky little guy does and I went looking for trouble. Oh and I found it the very next day.
I had an opportunity to rub it in there face how stupid this particular work practice was and I was going to take this chance and run. Sadly enough I think at the time all of this was kind of a sub-conscious notion. We had this customer come in and ask for the cheapest item we had and I smiled ear to ear. I was going to in my mind genuinely try and use this tool that I was expected to use. I jotted a couple of notes and kind of half-assed my way through the ridiculous practice. Well, after a mere ten minute interaction the customer left with out purchasing anything. I was left with a tool with just a couple of notes on it. I felt like the customer was impossible to engage, that they were shy and behind barriers that made my job hard and that was my excuse for a pathetic job done. It was the customers fault. I held on to that tool for most of an hour waiting to roll up on my bosses and show them that I had “tried” to use this tool.
The chance rose and I approached. I held out my form and said beaming with pride. “Look I tried!” I exclaimed. My boss looked at it and smiled. I continued “They didn't buy anything. He said what he wanted and I wrote it down-”. My boss stopped me. “Why” he asked. I was confused. “Why did you write it down?” “That’s what he wanted.” I stammered, caught of guard. My boss proceeded to try and make this a teachable moment and role play with me. I cut him off. “Am I in trouble” I asked kind of harshly. “Did I say you were?” he asked. “Well no but I couldn't engage this person.” My defenses were raised. I was about to make a mistake. My boss very politely and with zero condescension continued to try and teach me something. I interrupted again. This time my voice raised and full of spite. “none of this would have worked; I was there.”
He cut me off this time and told me and another manager to meet him in the office. Oh crap I thought. I knew I made a bad choice. I just knew it and I was right too. We got in that office and he all but tore me a new one. It was the most straight forward talking to I had ever had and I could tell he was upset but he maintained his composure. He didn't yell. He had tact. It was about the time that he accused me of lacking passion that I began to cry. I knew I had passion I loved my job. I had to excuse myself. I went to the restroom to dry my face and then promptly returned. I hated crying in front of others. I apologized for being emotional and said “I wear my emotions on my sleeves.” and without skipping a beat he responded “It's okay; people that care usually do.”
That meant so much to me because I did care and I do still care. I like my job. I take pride in my work. I sat there listening while he talked to me about being passionate and doing my job fully. That it isn't my choice to decide how much of a job I can do. That it is either try my best to do 100% of the job or 0% of the job. No in between.
I had the next day off and I reflected on his words and couldn't get them out of my head. He was right and I was very wrong. I fervently believe now more than ever that sometimes we have to be kicked in the rear to do our best. We have to be guided some times and that is okay. There will always be somebody that is better or has something to teach; we just have to be open to it and recognize it when it shows it's self.
There is not a doubt in my mind now that I was trying to prove a point and that I was looking to be right and it made me look foolish. No, that isn't completely true either. I made myself look foolish. I often wondered, why is pride a seven deadly sin. What is so wrong in knowing that you are good. Well, this is why. Some one will be better and more so someone will try and help and you may just miss the point altogether. Thank you, boss. I will not forget it.
Justin
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