Winter Quarter

I want to try and actually type more about my day-to-day life in this here blog, and when I realized I was about to sum up my quarter in a single sentence at the beginning of a blog post about a book I'm reading, I realized, duh, why not just devote a whole blog post to it??

I go to Savannah College of Art and Design, and I just finished up my second winter quarter here. That's 6 quarters done, and 6 more to go. I am literally sitting at the halfway mark of my career here at SCAD, which is actually a little comforting, now that I'm thinking about it. It's much less "HOMFG" feeling than saying "I'M ONLY TWO QUARTERS AWAY FROM BEING A SENIOR OH GOD OH GOD!" But let's not think about that, shall we?

This last quarter, I took two classes (as I do every quarter now - 3 classes is standard). I had Principles of Screen Design with this guy Jan Carlee, and 2D Production with an ol' favorite, John Webber.

Screen Design was awesome. The class revolves the devices and techniques film makers, animated and live action alike, use to convey and strengthen their story. While I had friends who'd taken the class previously and hated it, I, personally, enjoyed the class immensely, and I think it was because, thanks to their complaints, I was able to prepare myself for what was to come. I already knew the teacher was a harsh grader, so I didn't get bent out of shape about a B, and rejoiced in the single A I got the whole quarter, because I *knew* I earned it. I already knew not to expect any in-class work session. I knew to expect 2.5 hours of nonstop film clips, and to have a class here or there that covered topics I either didn't care about or already knew about. I knew what to expect from the assignments, even knew what some of them were and knew how my friends approached the assignments. I worried about doing as good of work as they did, and I got upset if I missed a class and it turned out to be a class on something I really wanted to learn, like character design. But in the end, I felt like I did a good job, and when my teacher praised something I did, I *knew* he meant it, and I knew I deserved it. I need to get those assignments on my Vimeo so I can embed them here soon. I'll definitely do that this week. The class also had a lot of great people, and we had a great time. Easily one of the best classes I've had at SCAD yet.

My teacher for that class, Jan Carlee, was pretty awesome, too. This guy.... he should write a book. The adventures he's had just because of people he met because he was in the right place at the right time.... it's almost unbelievable, and yet he has this presence and personality that just tells you, no, he's that guy. The guy to help a stranger on the street on the way to a rock concert, and it turns out it's the rock band's manager, and now there's a invitation to a huge private party with tons of famous people. Or the person that, the day he quits his job, someone randomly calls and offers him a new one. He's just tapped into that weird mojo that allows these things to happen, has the personality to not really give a shit what others think but also be a kind-hearted guy, and he tells his stories with such vigor and such humor even though he tells these stories over and over again.... Like I said. He needs to write a book.

So, yeah. I loved that class. My other class, though, 2D Production, was kind of the polar opposite. I liked my teacher and I loved having class with so many friends, but the class was a source of much stress. It's still a source of stress, and it's over! My main concern, and I think it not only hindered me but ultimately crippled me, was my confidence. See, 2D Production is kind of a test run for your senior film. You learn the process of making a 2D movie from start to finish. And considering up to this point, I've only had TWO ACTUAL ANIMATION CLASSES (not counting 3D because I'm a 2D animator), I definitely felt unprepared. Not just that, but I was coming off of a really bad, unproductive quarter sans animation classes (felt like a waste of time and money and made me feel guilty and terrible that I was falling behind). I was also aware right off the bat that I would be facing some of my weaknesses with animation (mainly inking). And I was aware that I had extremely talented friends in the class with me who I cannot help but compare myself to. Pretty much these four things combined into a cocktail of Augh.

I burnt out really bad. I stopped giving a shit about my film, started getting lazy, started hating it. I let mistakes go because I just didn't want to deal with them. I wasn't a big fan of the story, the character design, and of it, but I didn't have time to mess with it. Meanwhile, I watched my friends make amazing, well-animated, well-toned, well-colored, well-inked, well-storied films. I just felt so behind. I felt so inferior. Sure, my film wasn't the worst in the class by any means. But it certainly did not even fall into the top five. Not even close. And that's hard for me, not because I feel like I always have to be perfect, but because I'm scared that NOT being perfect means not getting a job.... and that thought is making me emotional so I'm going to stop talking about it. Point is - I'm not proud of my work in that class, and as a result, I've decided to take another quarter hardcore focusing on my animation and some of my lacking areas. My friends are taking Concept for their senior films in the spring. I'm taking it in the summer (with the aforementioned Jan Carlee, so THAT'll be exciting!). At least I learned from this that I need more instruction (I mean, I knew that from the start of the quarter, but I'm going ahead and accepting it now). Hopefully, this next quarter will see growth, and a sense of certainty about my place in this wibbly wobbly artsy filmy place that is animation.... (Dr. Who reference!)

But now, it's spring break!! And in approximately 31 hours, I will be seeing the other half of this blog in person as he steps off the bus in downtown Savannah! :D I can't wait!