Sorry about the absence. The last month and a half or so kinda sucked royally for me. Kinda fell into a pit of despair that started to really take its toll. You know, standard typical clinical depression sort of stuff, as ya do. It kind of reached a peak on/around my birthday. I lost my all-important not-backed-up hard drive that day (lovely birthday present), and, yknow, three people died and a bunch more were injured in Boston. Two days later I was sitting in SCAD's shrink office because my brain was pretty much on strike and I couldn't go to the animation building or draw anything without having panic attacks.... which, with two of the most difficult classes with one of the most difficult teachers, is a very bad thing.
I'm doing better now, though. I dropped one of those most difficult classes, which sucks because that means $3500 of my student debt doesn't even reflect any actual education (except maybe the education of knowing my limits), but has been exactly the kind of slack I needed to relax and kind of heal a bit from everything. I'm still going to the counselor (though still haven't had my second appointment, thanks to scheduling issues on her end). I haven't seen a medicine shrink or a standard typical doctor doctor yet because of anxiety but I will soon.... hopefully. But I am feeling better. My agoraphobia is a little bit lesser (I went to Petsmart, Target, AND the grocery store today!), and this week I got an A on an assignment I was convinced I was only going to get a C on. That helped my confidence a little bit.
Also, in less than a month, Justin (the other half of this blog) and I are moving into an apartment together!
The Wednesday before my birthday, Justin called me telling me he just saw a craiglist posting that was posted just an hour or so before for a rental in an area I desperately wanted. Even as bad as I was mentally at that point (this was 5 days or so before my birthday meltdown), I actually called the guy. It didn't scare me, which I typically try to take as A Sign. My roommate and I went and checked out the place on Friday.... and it checked off everything on my want list. Functional kitchen (as in more than one square foot of counter space, enough room in cupboards to store dishes AND food (gasp!), etc), that had not just a dishwasher, but was updated with stainless steel, built-in microwave, and a double sink. There was even room for my table and chairs in there! And then, surprise! Washer/Drier. In. The. Bedroom. (Well, in a closet in the bedroom). And then wifi included, water included, pet fee waived.... And just a mile or two from school. I went home, got my checkbook, and gave him the deposit. Lease was signed the next week, and that apartment will officially be home on May 25th!
As big of a worrywart as I am, even without the crippling bout of depression I've been battling recently, this isn't scaring me like it could. The only anxieties are have are superficial ones - anxieties about the logistics of moving everything during finals week, will we find a mattress, will Quinn be able to handle being an only
We don't get the apartment til the 25th, but Justin is going to be here on Friday. This is going to be an exciting new adventure. I can't wait to get started. <3
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